Edit: These images are a little big, but I’m hungry so I’ll fix it later*.

* See: never.

This week’s episode of ‘Ask Hector’ will not be seen so that we may bring you a very special announcement. I GOT NERF’D IN THE FACE. That’s right. I also changed ‘NERF’ from a noun into a verb. You can get ‘NERF’D’ now thanks to my crazy brain (and also the twenty people that thought of it before I did I’m sure).

An inconspicuous briefcase — But wait! I’m packing heat!

nerf01

That’s right assassinators, four single shot hand held pain implementation devices ready for pelting persons.

nerf02

NOTHIN’ GUNNA’ STOP ME!!—-

nerf03

–Wait, ow. No. Stop. Ow. What. Ow.

nerf004

Oh I see. There is a friggin TOMMY GUN NERF GUN now available. You might as well just punch me in the ear at this point.

nerf05

Except what’s this? Someone did not guard their precious weapon of mass disruption? Welp (or should I say welt), Payback is a stitch. On a cut. On your butt…

nerf06

Shhhhh…. Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I’m being a weirdo.

Stalking 101

I’m seriously just walking towards him, stopping to take pictures and he doesn’t notice.

Closer....

Really dude? Your NBA Jam Sesh is so loud you can’t hear your impending doom?

How can he not see me?

This is not made up. I literally stood next to him with a TOMMY NERF GUN just six inches from his cabeza and he just zoned out on his game. “Mal…….MAL!”

Uh... Hello?

ATTAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

NEEERRRRDDD i mean NEEERRRFFF!

PEW PEW PEW PEW… Ok I’m done. We may have lost the battle but this war is ours. And we will never forget the sacrifice so many brave, outdated company holiday cards made for the cause…

The end.

Ouch. Right on Lee’s face! Later Tater tots! Have a rad weekend.