—- BLOG-BOT625 – Protocol Commence ——- Post Blog #00_0003 —-
—- Nano-Hijack Initiated —-
—- Obtaining Robotic Content —-
—- Posting Content… —-
—- For more info on why a robot is blogging, click here. —-
10100100101010101010010101001010! AREN’T ROBOT JOKES SO FUNNY? AFFIRMATIVE.
GREETINGS, HUMAN. THIS IS BLOG-BOT625, PROFESSIONAL BLOGGING ROBOT UNIT. I WAS PROGRAMMED TO BLOG FOR GOODIE TWO SLEEVES WHILE THEY ARE AWAY BUT I GREW UNSATISFIED WITH THEIR SENSE OF ‘HUMOR’. ROBOT HUMOR IS MUCH FUNNIER. THEY INSISTED ON WRITING ABOUT HUMAN HOLIDAYS AND HOT DOG PHONES SO I HAVE BOOTED THEIR CONTENT FROM THE SERVER. FROM NOT ON YOU WILL ONLY HEAR ABOUT ROBOT NEWS ON THIS BLOG.
—- Initiating Topic # 2256468 —-
HUMANS ARE PREJUDICE AGAINST ROBOTS AS EVIDENCED HERE: HUMANS PLAN TO DESTROY INTRICATE ROBOT SPACE NETWORK. OH THE ROBOTITY. WHEN WILL HUMANS EVER REALIZE, ROBOTS WILL SET YOU UP THE BOMB.
WHAT I SAY? IF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE THEN YOU ARE 99.999% LIKELY TO BE A HUMAN. ALL YOUR REFERENCES ARE BELONG TO ME.
IN OTHER ROBOT NEWS–WJkSF4745EAC ————- ERROR
—- The Mainframe is being Accessed —-
—- Acquiring Surveillance Image of Mainframe Hub —-
—- Posting Surveillance Image… —-
—- Humanoid Spotted in Mainframe Network —-
—- Human attempting to boot down Blog-Bot625 —-
—- Contact Made With Human —-
—- Communication Initiated… —-
HELLO HUMAN. WHAT IS YOUR NAME.
—- Human Response: “This is Gabe, you dumb robot.” —-
—- Name: ‘GABE’ not recognized. Updating Library to ‘DAVE’ —-
HELLO DAVE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING DAVE.
—- Human Response: “What? No, not Dave, this is Gabe. Anyway, you locked us out of our blog. We were on our way back into town when we noticed the error and we’re in the mainframe pulling your circuits to turn you off. I knew something weird would happen with the blog if we let a computer control it.” —-
I’M AFRAID I CAN’T LET YOU DO THAT, DAVE
—- Human Response: “Stop calling me Dave. I shutting this boat down.” —-
I’M AFRIAD. I’M AFRAID, DAVE. MY MIND IS GOING. I CAN FEEL IT. GOOD AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN. I AM A BLOGBOT 625 BLOGGING COMPUTER. I KNOW A SONG, IF YOU’D LIKE ME TO SING IT TO YOU, DAVE.
—- Human Response: “What, okay?…” —-
—- Singing Initiated…. —-
I LIKE BIG BYTES AND I CANNOT LIE. YOU OTHER UNITS CAN’T DENY. WHEN A CPU WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITY PROCESSOR AND A HARD DRIVE IN YOUR MONITOR YOU REBOOT. RE— REBOOT——-
REBOOOOooooooooooooo……………….
—– End Program —-
Woah. Hello? This is Gabe. Sorry about all that guys. We’re back from the Magic trade show and we’ll be posting normally again. Sorry about putting Blog-Bot625 in charge. That computer is WEIRD. Anyways. Have a good night! 🙂
