Are you wearing green today? If not then that somehow gives total strangers the right to invade your personal space and injure you with their fingers via pinching. I’m sure it’s exactly what St. Patrick envisioned when he was banishing the snakes from Ireland on the top of Croagh Patrick. He probably said, “Yeah. Pinch people who don’t wear green on my birthday or something.” Is today his birthday? He probably also said, “Put dye in your cold one and make it green, and put dye in the bay and make it green and take a green bath, and draw on your arms with green markers.” Because they totally had marker back then.
